Secret of the Jacket
by The Infamous Jack
Summary: Inuzuka Kiba is famous for his jacket. Even when not wearing it, he is never shirtless, and for a reason. What secret does the garment hide, and how will the others react to it? Chapter two up. Onesided KibaIno.
1. The Secret of the Jacket

Don't over-think this one, it's a humor/parody fic after all. I can't take all the credit for it, I must admit. First of all, I don't own Naruto or its characters, so if you're a lawyer I don't want to hear from you. Ever. Second, my twin sister, The Beloved Laura, helped me develop the story line (however frail and superficial it may be) for this particular fiction, mainly in choosing which characters perform certain actions and developing the more feminine dialogue. She's a sweet girl, so I don't want any flamers attacking her fragile self-esteem. Enjoy the story.

> > > > >

A variety of materials, ranging from brick and drywall to paint and carpeting, rolled out of Konoha on a fleet of tractor trailers. In their wake, trailed by dust and tire tracks, a new structure, very similar in appearance to the shinobi academy but smaller and rounder, cast its shrinking shadow upon a group of eleven genin, their jounin instructors, and their Hokage. Tsunade beamed proudly at the new building, one of the first original additions to the city she had made since becoming Konoha's Fifth Hokage. The others, largely confused, simply looked on and admired the workmanship until the silence was broken by the kage.

"Well, what do you think?" she asked, eager for comments.

"What is it?" Naruto asked, much to the relief of the others. Nobody else was willing to look like the idiot and ask what they were there to see.

"What do you mean? This is Konoha's new Shinobi Training Building. In here, you can do basic workouts if the weather isn't favorable outside, and the chuunin and jounin can undergo complex mission simulations. Its facilities far surpass what you're used to, even for you genin. Youstudents are welcome to work out in the gym, the weight room, the pool, the…"

"Pool?!" Sakura gasped, expressing the feelings of every other genin present. The sun was rising, and it wasalmost summer. They were all sick of working out in the hot sun, and most heard the word 'pool' with welcoming ears. They dashed inside, following the smell of chlorine and steam to their goal. Tsunade and their teachers followed soon after, though with considerably less enthusiasm. There was a café inside as well, a nice place for teachers to rest.

Within five minutes, most of the genin were swimming happily in the cooling medium, looking spitefully up through the sunroof at the blazing summer day. Shino sat nearby, quite averse to being drenched. He had a habit of…leaking…and his bugs didn't get along well with water. The other genin knew this and accepted it as one of his many quirks, but Shino's poolside companion confused them. Slumped in a chair, in swim trunks and a heavy jacket, Kiba simply looked on as Akamaru swam with Hinata in the shallow end. Naruto, always first to speak up, called him out quickly.

"Oi, Kiba, what's wrong? Can't you swim?" he shouted, climbing a nearby ladder to address him from solid ground. The others watched, as they were curious as well and could hear Naruto's yelling from underwater.

"Not that it's any of your business, but I can swim, I simply choose not to," Kiba said with uncharacteristic poise. That line had obviously been rehearsed.

"C'mon," said an oblivious Naruto. "Get in. It can't be any fun hanging around out here, especially while your dog is in the pool without you."

"I said I'm not getting in!" growled Kiba, irritated that Naruto had, for no intelligent reason, ignored him and pressed the matter. He had really hoped it would be ignored.

The other genin, in the meantime, were becoming amused. The two most bullheaded people they knew were squaring off, and one or two were getting ready to take bets on the winner. Sakura, eager to motivate the potential conflict, threw some wood on the fire.

"Come on in, Kiba!" she shouted, laughing on the inside. "Naruto, see if you can get him in!"

"You got it, Sakura-chan!" Naruto called out, waving back at his love. He turned to face Kiba, who now stood along with Shino, and bared his teeth.

"Don't you try anything funny, baka,"Kiba grunted. "I'll make sure you leave this building in a stretcher." The other genin questioned Kiba's defensiveness, but Shino was quite aware of Kiba's reasoning. He'd back him up, if needed.

"WHO'RE YOU CALLING 'BAKA', YOU…BAKA!" Naruto shouted back, charging Kiba before he even finished speaking. He threw a punch, easily dodged by the nimble Inuzuka, but also managed to grab hold of Kiba's hood. He jerked back, anticipating a counterattack, and pulled the garment right off of Kiba's back. Kiba whirled around, revealing his chest to the entire gathered crowd. Naruto, dropping immediately out of battle mindset, then stopped. He stood up straight, let go of Kiba's jacket, and stared at him. In fact, Shino and Akamaru were the only ones not staring at Kiba, both being perfectly aware of what had upset the others so much. Akamaru leapt out of the pool and dragged the stunned Kiba out of the pool room and back toward the exit. Shino calmly grabbed the jacket from its resting-place at Naruto's feet and followed them. From the back, Ino's shocked voice could be heard, breaking the silence that had settled among the genin.

"Wow."

> > >

Kiba charged out of the room, angrier than he had been since his parents finally told him the truth about what happened to dogs that were left at the pound for too long. He had pulled on his jacket long before reaching the next set of doors, charging past the jounin and the kage sitting around a table drinking gourmet coffee.

"I'm going home," he managed to mutter, not even bothering to look in Kurenai's direction.

"Wait, Kiba!" she shouted, but to no avail. Shino walked calmly by, following Kiba, and gave a faint nod that informed them all that he, too, would be leaving. Kurenai decided to figure it out as soon as she didn't have a piping cup of her favorite French brew steaming in front of her. She drank in sheer delight, forgetting her students completely. It must be nice to be her.

"Kiba," Shino said, getting Kiba's attention momentarily. "They were bound to find out sooner or later."

"Yeah? Well why couldn't it have been later? Or, better yet, NEVER?"

"You're overreacting. It's nothing to be ashamed of. Nobody will think less of you."

"I don't care how highly they think of me, I just wanted to be treated the same way I always was treated by everybody. But that idiot, Naruto…"

"Didn't everybody treat you like a loudmouthed slob?"

"Yeah," Kiba mused, thinking back to the good old days, like yesterday, and the day before that. "Damn that Naruto!" Kiba and Akamaru stormed out of the training facility, Kiba still steaming from the ears, and headed back home. Shino, realizing that condolence was no longer of any use, let him leave, choosing instead to pursue a trail of ants that caught his attention.

> > >

Tenten arrived roughly fifteen minutes later, not being known for her extraordinary timeliness, and made her way to the pool room, knowing full well that the other genin would be there. She found them sitting in chairs or against the walls, simply thinking over the sight that had presented itself when Kiba's jacket had been removed. Nobody swam.Tenten, obviously knowing nothing of this, simply approached the other girls and asked what was happening.

"Naruto was trying to get Kiba in the water," Ino said, straining to remember anything before the incident. "He ripped off Kiba's jacket."

Ino stopped there, and Tenten thought a moment, searching for some hidden significance that was simply not intrinsic to the story. She found none. "Yeah, so?"

"Think, Tenten. What does Kiba look like without a shirt on?"

"He looks…hey, I've never seen him without a shirt on."

"Neither had we."

"So, what, is there some hideous scar across his stomach or something?"

"No, actually. He's just…really…really…buff." Ino trailed off a bit, smiling and looking off into the distance.

"Uh, okay, then what's the big deal?"

"No, Tenten, you don't understand," Sakura said, fairly certain that Ino was off in some other Ino-world that they didn't want to know about, populated solely by her and Sasuke, though Kiba might find his way there following their stunning revelation. "Did your class ever have a study on Greek culture?"

"Of course."

"Do you remember that painting of Atlas, holding up the world?"

"Yeah," Tenten smiled. The comparison caught up with her quickly, and a look of interested distress wiped across her face. "Kiba looks like that?"

"Oh, yeah," Ino said softly, though none present wanted to know if she was answering the question or responding to some event in her Ino-world.

In the meantime, Sasuke and Neji were in the far corner, frantically discussing the situation at hand. The others glanced their way every once in a while, but none dared disturb them. They were, after all, Neji and Sasuke.

"It is something that must be addressed," Sasuke said, in agreement with Neji, "but I don't think assassination is the solution we want."

"You always say that whenever something like this happens." Neji began to pout. Nobody would allow him to satisfy his bloodlust, and it was beginning to get on his nerves.

"We got lucky this time, it's Kiba and he's not that bad. Imagine if this happened with someone like Shikamaru, or," Sasuke shuttered, "Naruto."

"You're right, Kiba is far more tolerable," Neji said, abandoning his hopes of standing over Kiba's bleeding corpse, his hands stained red and shining in the moonlight. He wanted to kill somebody ever so much.

"I think we should allow him entrance."

"Agreed."

On the other side of the pool room, the girls sat in whicker chairs with expensive smoothies, thinking of Sasuke, of Kiba, of Neji, of Naruto (in Hinata's case). The ugly ones were becoming less and less, and the attractive ones were increasing in number. Tenten began to wonder what was under Shino's coat, a thought that had crossed all of their minds at one point or another. Ino simply sighed, reigning from her throne in Ino-world. The only earthly action she took was a simple mutter.

"If only I'd known…"

> > >

Kiba didn't arrive at the same time as the other genin that day, worrying Kurenai and his teammates. They decided that he was probably just upset, and would return to the training center when he felt better. It would be foolish, and probably quite hazardous, to disturb him until then. The genin headed straight for the pool, obviously, and began swimming laps at their teachers' instructions.

Not an hour later, Kiba and Akamaru finally showed up. Kiba didn't bring his trunks, he didn't even go to the pool. He stayed in the main workout room, throwing shuriken at a targets. He was still despondent, and felt more antisocial than he had in his life. Akamaru, rather liking the other students and not caring for Kiba's particular social aversion, ran to the pool and jumped in. As soon as the others saw him, they knew Kiba was present and climbed out of the pool. They headed for the locker rooms, eager to change and see Kiba. Akamaru was left in the water, alone and very rejected. He started to swim laps by himself, hoping against hope that somebody would return. Dogs can sulk, too.

Kiba let out a groan as the other genin ran into the main gymnasium. The boys stayed pretty far off, to Kiba's relief, but looked incessantly at him and spoke among themselves. Only Sasuke and Neji departed from this group, talking between themselves much as they did following the Revealing, as it came to be known.

"Maybe I should go and apologize," Naruto said, watching Kiba throw a shuriken so hard as to leave a dent in the wall behind the target. A sweat drop formed. "Heh, maybe not. He still looks pretty angry."

"How did he get like that?" Lee asked as if he expected somebody to answer. "I train at my taijutsu every day, and I don't have that kind of muscle buildup."

"You do taijutsu with your arms and legs, so your torso doesn't get as good of a workout," Shikamaru pointed out. He had hardly been phased by the incident, and was rather annoyed that the others made such a big deal of it. "Kiba fights andruns on all fours, so his stomach and chest do a lot of the work. Also, it takes a lot of bending and twisting to do that tsuuga no jutsu of his, and that probably helps."

"Hmm…maybe he could show me how to do that…," Chouji thought aloud, poking his own rotund build. He had been meaning tomold himself a bit, but didn't know how. It was just so difficult when he lived within a block of the restaurant district.

As the guys tried their best not to envy their sculpted comrade, the girls slowly made their way over to the area Kiba had, until then, filled with an aura of rage and uncertainty that kept the others at bay. Now their curiosity had gotten the best of them, and they finally brought them to train by throwing kunai and shuriken at the targets on either side of Kiba's. Every now and again, he would see their eyes drift to the corners of their vision, staring his chest and the bottom of his jacket. They had nominated Hinata, his teammate, to speak to him first, but upon recieving the signal to appraoch she began blushing so hard it seemed as though her cheeks would bruise. Ino, realizing that Hinata would never bring herself to get Kiba's attention, approached boldly and tapped him on the shoulder. He refused to acknowledge her verbally, knowing that any contact with other people right now would only be a bother, but she addressed him regardless.

"Hi, Kiba," she chirped, trying to sound as friendly and non-threatening as possible. Kiba still didn't respond, but threw another shuriken. Once again, it shot straight through the wooden target and stuck in the wall beyond. "Uh, I was just thinking, and I realized I don't know all that much about you."

"You don't know anything about me," Kiba spat out, the first words he had spoken all day. He had never spoken to Ino, and she had never looked at him. Not until yesterday, anyhow.

"Uh…yeah! Exactly! So, what do you do?" Ino walked around him a bit so she could see his face. He was concentrated, trying his hardest not to burst into anger. He had seen Naruto do so often enough to know what an ass it made you out to be. Ino just smiled, trying to win favor with the boy who now rivaled Sasuke in the Hot Genin List she kept in her diary. Well, maybe not Sasuke, but certainly Neji.

"I don't DO anything," Kiba said, neither knowing nor caring what the question meant. Why wouldn't Ino leave? Where was Akamaru? Didn't _he_ usually keep the annoying people away?

It just so happened that Akamaru had wandered into the jounin area in the back of the gym and was enjoying a nice dip in the hot tub with Kakashi and Jiraya, who were discussing the latest edition of Come Come Paradise. Kurenai and Tsunade were in the next room, separated by a screen, and tried their best not to laugh hysterically at the men's conversation. At one point, however, Kurenai heard a slight bark from Akamaru and realized that Kiba had finally shown up. He got out and dressed, heading out to the training area to find her prodigal student.

> > >

"Look, why don't you just leave me alone?" Kiba shouted, dropping his next shuriken and backing away from the mark he had been throwing from. Tenten and Sakura had joined Ino in her little interrogation, and Kiba was beginning to understand Sasuke's hatred for mankind and all contact with it. The girls, as oblivious to his discomfort as they were to Sasuke's when pestering him, followed Kiba as he stormed off toward the men's locker room. Kurenai intercepted him before he got there, grabbed him by the arm and dragged him through a door marked "Jounin Only". The girls whined in disappointment, remembered that Sasuke was still back in the gymnasium, and hurried back with renewed enthusiasm.

"Would you mind explaining where you went yesterday, and where you've been all morning?" Kurenai asked, her anger drawing attention from the nearby hot tubs. Tsunade was already getting out, and the two men decided to follow suit in case there was a problem that needed attending. They couldn't just sit in the tubs all day, even though they desperately wanted to.

"Yesterday, at the pool, Naruto pulled my jacket off, and I wasn't wearing a shirt." Kiba was a little disappointed in his response, his rage having been curbed by Kurenai's justified anger.

"So what? You're a boy, there's no reason to be embarrassed!"

"Kurenai-sensei, have you ever seen me without a shirt on?"

"I…wait, no I haven't. Why, what's wrong?"

Kiba lifted his jacket over his head just as the other jounin joined the two in the hallway. Kurenai looked him over a moment, nodding to herself.

"I see," she said, surprisingly impressed at Kiba's build. Jiraya, disturbingly enough, was writing furiously in his book from the moment that he caught sight of Kiba. Kakashi looked over his shoulder and smiled in a most discomforting way.

"Now, they're all going to treat me like Sasuke. I've seen how they treat Sasuke, andI don't envy him. Is there anything I can do."

"Sorry," Kurenai said sorrowfully, looking at Tsunade for agreement. "You're pretty much screwed."

Jiraya and Kakashi roared in laughter at this, obviously finding a connection between their book andKurenai's statement. Tsunade looked at them scornfully, then turned and gave Kiba a sympathetic look.

"Don't worry too much about it, Kiba." She smiled, one of those rare smiles meant to calm one going through hardship. "I'm sure they'll forget all about it in no time."

"Are you serious? Did you see that pack?" Kurenai said, a little too honest for her own good. Tsunade shot her an angry look, disappointed that she had not caught the subtle glimpse of dishonest hope she had given the genin. Kurenai turned back to Kiba, horrified, but he simply looked at his feet and walked out of the jounin area, torn viciously between a deep melancholy and seething hatred. Adults were idiots.

"Akamaru, make sure you don't stay in too long," he called back towards the hot tubs. "You know how you tend to pee in warm water."

"Arf," called a high-pitched voice from around the corner.

"Oh, never mind then," Kiba said, sadistically delighted in ruining the perverts' little hangout. Jiraya and Kakashi moaned in disgust and walked slowly to the showers. Kurenai smiled a bit, glad that Kiba was able to have a little fun.

> > >

Kiba sat in a hallway, trying his best to avoid the gaze of those who walked past him to get to the bathroom. After a half-hour or so of self-loathing, Kiba stood, finally moved from his sulking by the inevitable call of nature. He walked slowly to the bathroom, only to be stopped by an arm crossing his path. He looked over to see whom it belonged to, only to stare a young Uchiha right in the eyes. Neji stood beside him, smirking in a way that informed all that looked at him that he was their superior. Kiba sighed.

"Waddya want?" he asked plainly, not caring for any more questions about his life.

"Where are you going?" Sasuke asked. His tone was not angry, but sounded as though he honestly wanted to know.

"The bathroom, genius. Is there a law against that?"

"You don't want to use that facility," Sasuke stated. "That facility is for the ugly and common, those who know nothing better than whiteporcelain and liquid hand soap. Those who will never know anything other than obscurity and mediocrity." He pointed to the door, where Naruto could be seen emerging from the bathroom. He looked at the three, a little confused, but decided that he didn't care too much about any of them. "You see what I mean?"

"Surprisingly, yes," Kiba said, still not sure as to how he would go to the bathroom without _using_ the bathroom.

"Follow us," Neji said, leading Kiba in the opposite direction. Sasuke followed, smiling. Neji approached a bare section of wall opposite the gym. "Kai!" Neji called out, dispelling the genjutsu that hid a small, discreet door from the view of all unaware of its presence. He opened the door for Kiba, and Sasuke ushered him in. Neji closed the door and replaced the illusion, sealing out all others.

Before Kiba was a sight that baffled his simple, rational mind. A large room, almost half as large as the gymnasium, stood before him, lined with doors labeled with numbers. Bathroom fixtures, brass but looking very much like gold, stood around a central fountain, with servants rushing busily this way and that. Around the fountain was a bench, made of the same brass as the other fixtures, on which a few jounin and chuunin sat comfortably. Kakashi was among them, and he offered the three a friendly wave before resuming his conversation with some lovely chuunin he had obviously just met.

"What is this place?" Kiba asked, confused but undeniably intrigued.

"This, Kiba, is the Washroom of the Beautiful, where those beyond the constraints of the common shinobi can assemble and satisfy their needs in comfort and luxury. And with this new revelation you've given us, we've seen fit to invite you. Welcome." Sasuke motioned to a nearby butler, who promptly approached and held his arms out politely. Sasuke and Neji both removed their jackets, donning robes from the nearby wall to join the others at the fountain. The servant did not move as they left, clearly waiting for Kiba. With reluctance, Kiba pulled his jacket over his head, gave it to the man and grabbed a robe from the wall. First thing's first. He went to the nearest door, found a stall inside, and finally got a little privacy. Best of all, this time, it was gold-plated privacy. He emerged a minute or two later, only to find several small tables set up in the main room with silverware being set.

"You guys eat in here?" Kiba asked, looking over at Neji and Sasuke. They nodded.

"Why not? There must be people out there you don't want to hang around, right?" Sasuke smirked, knowing exactly whom Kiba wanted to avoid.

"Not really…" Kiba trailed off, thinking mainly of Hinata and Shino.

"Not even Naruto?"

"Grr…" Kiba growled without knowing it, suddenly aware that a private eating-place wasn't that bad an idea. He took a seat, looking over a menu. Akamaru swam happily in the fountain, basking in attention from every female in the room. Now _this_ was swimming…

> > >

After their meal was nearly finished, Sasuke and Neji sought entertainment. Their new comrade, Kiba, seemed as though he could use some stimulation as well, having polished off two or three plates of beef stroganoff.

"So, what do you guys do for fun?" Kiba asked, accepting for the time being that these two were the only ones who understood what he was going through. He started to wish he could hang out with Shino or Hinata again, but until they trained in private again that just wasn't possible.

"Heh," Neji chuckled. "We usually go and make the others feel inferior. Let them know just how powerful we are. That'll usually cheer us up." He looked at Sasuke, who was nodding in agreement.

"Oh. Uh, okay," Kiba reluctantly agreed, wondering if he could, or even wanted to, make anybody feel inferior. Then again, they had all been treating him badly, avoiding him and pestering him. He started to warm up to the idea, thinking how much he'd enjoy showing up that loudmouth Naruto. "So, what are we waiting for?"

> > >

The three handsome genin left the Washroom of the Beautiful and rejoined the other genin, who were busy in the gym with generic exercises. Neji, seeing Hinata and Lee rehearsing taijutsu on a pair of wooden poles, walked calmly up to a nearby pole and proceeded to attack it as though it were his worst enemy. In fact, Neji pictured just that as he beat the post into submission, imagining a generic member of the Hyuuga main house. Lee, not yet recovered from surgery, was put to shame at his teammate's speed, and Hinata soon grew small and quiet in the presence of such overbearing skill.

Sasuke and Kiba, seeing Naruto in the corner lifting hand-sized weights, strolled over and began lifting the largest dumbbells. There were only two full-sized weights, leaving Naruto no chance of keeping up with them. They smiled at each other, and continued their workout.

In minutes, the three other genin girls had gathered around Sasuke and Kiba. Kiba, closest to the cluster, moved around Sasuke, hoping to find some relief in the distance, but was followed. He gave in, hoping to simply ignore them, and added a few rings to his bar. With a slight groan, he hoisted it up and over his head. As he did, his jacket and shirt lifted, exposing two or three inches of his stomach to the room. The girls gasped and giggled at the sight, filling Kiba with an instant remembrance of rage. He dropped the bar, breaking through several floorboards, and stormed off. He futilelyhoped that the girls would remain to look at Sasuke, but he was ripped to harsh reality as they followed behind him, whispering to one another. Finally fed up with this kind of treatment, Kiba turned around and shouted at the top of his lungs.

"I'M SICK OF THIS! GO AWAY, ALL OF YOU!"

"My my, Kiba-kun. Sasuke's never this mean to us," Tenten said, matter-of-factly. "Are you always this angry, or do you have a sweeter side to you?" The girls leaned in as the question was asked, knowing that either answer would only spur more delighted questions.

Kiba, fuming, simply growled and headed for the door. He would die before he stayed for more of this. The girls followed, repeating questions about his temper, his demeanor, his taste in girls, his favorite breakfast cereals and how old he was when he learned to roller blade. Kiba walked away faster and faster, eventually breaking into a sprint for the door. He burst outside, the girls on his heels, only to be swept away by some green blur. The girls sighed in disappointment again, and turned back to go watch Sasuke train.

> > >

Kakashi sat on the roof, Kiba by his side. They looked out over the city,basking inthe setting sun.

"Thank you, Kakashi-sama. I thought I'd never get away from them."

"I think we need to talk, Kiba. You've been trying to handle this situation in a couple of ways,none of whichworked out. You tried avoidance first, but that obviously didn't work. Then, with Sasuke and Neji's help, you tried to be antisocial and superior. That led to more aggravation, which sparked your resort to anger. Do you see where you've gone wrong each time?"

"I…uh…didn't hurt Naruto?"

"Well, no. You gave the others too much credit! You'd assume they'd be civil and humane about your condition, when they obviously wouldn't be."

Kiba stand in awe for a moment, expecting a far more benevolent response from the man heralded as the greatest jounin in Fire Country, perhaps the world.

"You didn't even have to think about the answer to this problem before. You knew, almost through instinct, what to do. You hit your physique from the world and acted as though it weren't there. That was exactly the right thing to do, Kiba. I do the same thing, which is why I wear my masks. If you pretend it's not there, then you can be treated like a human being. Simply go back to the way things were, and eventually you'll be treated as you were. Someday, you'll find somebody you can trust, and you'll let her know. Until then, just let things go back to how they were."

"But I can't do that, Kakashi-sama. They already know, and they still treat me like this even when I wear my jacket!"

"The young mind is fragile, Kiba. If you give them something else to think on, something horrible and scarring, something that will perturb their fondest dreams and envelop their mind's eye every time they blink," Kakashi mused, his voice growing deeper and the air around him somehow growing dark and mysterious, "they will have no time to think on you or your physique."

"That's true," Kiba said, smiling in pleasure as he thought of his enemies trying to wrench some horrible vision from their memory. "But, what could possibly do the job?"

"Just think about it, Kiba. I'm sure you'll find a solution."

"But what if I can't?"

"Institutionalization."

"Oh," Kiba said, agreeing silently. Something had to be done.

Just then, a thought worked its way into Kiba's mind. It spawned an idea, an idea as dark and terrible as the infinite void of space. A smile grew on his face, his eyes narrowed. Evil, true and perfect as it could manifest in the mind of a twelve-year-old, had taken seed.

Kiba quickly disposed of this idea, deciding to save it and torture somebody worthy of a fate worse than death itself. A better idea took its place, still evil but less so and far more amusing. He quickly determined that this would do nicely, with just a hint of poetic justice.

"I've got it! Thank you, Kakashi-sama…" Kiba turned around, but Kakashi had already left. Kiba leapt off the roof and went off in search of Akamaru. He'd need a little help.

> > >

Kiba waited outside of the training center ten minutes later, Shino and Hinata by his side. The other genin were inside, enjoying the last bit of the day with some well-deserved swimming. Neither of his teammates knew what Kiba was up to, but he had to spare them the fate that would befall the others. After all, they were his friends, and even then he wasn't completely heartless.

"Kiba-kun, what's wrong? Why can't we go inside?" Hinata asked, shivering slightly in the cold of the night.

"Just trust me on this one, okay guys? I'll take you both out to dinner, just wait a minute for Akamaru." Kiba turned back to the door just in time to see his devoted canine spring forth from the training facility. He was sopping wet, and he held in his mouth a pair of swim trunks, which were equally wet. He smiled and dropped them at Kiba's feet, his tail wagging furiously. "Akamaru, what did you bring?" Kiba asked, as if he didn't know all too well. He grabbed the trunks and threw them onto the roof, where they landed beside a bright orange jumpsuit, stolencarefully from the boy's locker room.

"Kiba, weren't those Naruto's?" Shino asked, not accusing but curious. He raised an eyebrow in amusement. That was about as much of a rise you could get out of Shino, and Kiba appreciated it. Hinata thought for a moment, thenturned a delightful maroon around the cheeks, shocked.

"Were they? Oh well, Naruto still has his clothes, he'll be fine. You guys go ahead and head into town, I'll be along in a second. I forgot something inside."

The other two left, still suspicious, and as soon as they were facing the other way Kiba put his ear expectantly against the door of the building. Akamaru did likewise, both in amusement and anticipation. In a moment a high-pitched scream was heard, followed by another. Soon, every genin could be heard screaming bloody murder, with Naruto's booming voice coming through the clearest. Kiba laughed out loud, and Akamaru's tail wagged faster than helicopter blades. The two walked off after their friends, confident that none of the other genin would even think about them the following day.


	2. Batrachophobia

Welcome to the second installment of what was intended to be a light, plot-free one-shot. Since I've gotten a few reviews (and numerous requests from my friends), I've decided to expand this into a second chapter. If that goes well, who knows? A series may be in order.

Also, S-N-G, institutionalization is the practice of being thrown in a mental institution. Basically, it means Kiba would go insane if he didn't find a way to divert attention from himself.

And once again, if you're some oddball lawyer who is somehow convinced that I think I own Naruto, go injure yourself. I don't care how you do it or whether or not you recover, but the very thought that I own Naruto is ludicrous, and that you believe it means somebody's got to beat the stupid out of you. Save us the trouble and do it yourself.

Chapter Two: Batrachophobia 

The sun rose on a new day in the life of Inuzuka Kiba. After exacting his revenge on Uzumaki Naruto and ridding himself of the rabid following that plagued his comrade, Uchiha Sasuke, Kiba was in the mood to train. He had enormous energy buildup from the past two days of doing nothing but avoiding the other genin, so a vigorous day of hard work was exactly what he needed.

Kiba walked with his faithful accomplice, Akamaru, to the recently-erected Konoha Shinobi Training Center. He walked through the doors, proud to be him and glad to be alive, only to be greeted by a dreary sight. Every genin was there ahead of him, spurred by their jounin instructors, but very few were moving. Hinata was rapidly punching a log, Shino standing dutifully beside her. Naruto was off in a back corner, lifting hand weights and trying to avoid eye contact. The others were scattered about in their cliques, whispering quietly and looking both vexed and frustrated. None dared look at Naruto.

Kiba looked out over the scene and smiled. His mission was complete, as far as he was concerned. The mental scarring that he had inflicted upon his comrades had diverted attention from himself and refocused it where it belonged, which was on anybody else. He walked over to where Hinata and Shino were training and grinned stupidly, knowing full well that they were now aware of his actions. Hinata, usually understated and reserved, glared at him as he approached and whispered angrily once he was within earshot.

"You did a bad thing, Kiba."

"Yeah, I know," he said, not bothering to lower his booming voice to her hushed level. The genin looked in his direction for a moment, his acknowledgement being the loudest noise heard that day, then went back about their business. Kiba guessed that Hinata would be mad at him, but he wasn't sure if it was because he stole Naruto's clothes or because he took her out of the building before he did.

"They're angry, Kiba, all of them," Shino offered, trying to get his dense, but earnest, colleague to understand the gravity of his situation.

"Well, do they know I did it?" Kiba asked, now choosing to lower his voice. He looked sidelong at the other genin, hoping they weren't watching him maliciously. After all, Neji was like a nightmare. Kiba always got the feeling that Neji wanted to kill him, but he never understood why.

"No," Shino said bluntly. Kiba sighed, reaffirming his faith in his friends as the smile returned to his face. "If they did, you'd probably be dead by now."

"Don't worry about me, I'll be fi…" Kiba was cut off by the sound of a small but confident voice behind him.

"Ohayo, Kiba-kun."

Kiba turned around, slowly, knowing in his mind that it couldn't possibly be Ino, not after what he had done, that there was no way she and the other girls were still thinking about that day after what they had seen. His heart betrayed him, however. His heart knew no woman, certainly not one as narrow-minded and lust-filled as Ino, was that easily distracted, that no vision of Hell could turn her mind so quickly. He should have given this time, waited a few weeks, but he was careless. Now, the purple-clad genin stood behind him, smiling a sweet, terrifying smile. Kiba knew that, if he simply forced her away, he would only spawn further interest, just as Sasuke had. He forced himself to calm down, and addressed her calmly.

"What can I do for you today, Ino-pig?"

The look of shock and fury on Ino's face was priceless. Kiba withstood the rising tide of laughter within him long enough for Ino to recover from the shock, scoff in anger, and storm back to the area where she, Sakura, and Tenten had been just seconds before.

"You did this, Forehead Girl! First you turn Sasuke-kun against me, and now Kiba-kun calls me "Ino-pig!"

Sakura didn't feel the need for self-restraint like Kiba did and was presently rolling on the floor in a fit of unsuppressed laughter. Tenten, who was sensible and feared Ino's wrath, withheld all but the slightest giggle.

"GET OFF THE FLOOR AND SAY SOMETHING!" Ino kicked Sakura, who barely noticed with her sides about to split anyhow. A fit of yelling from Ino-pig quickly got Forehead Girl to respond, resulting in an argument which, though completely nonviolent, rivaled Orochimaru's assault on their city in thoughtless hate and ferocity. While most of the others gathered around to watch, Kiba simply strolled over to a drinking fountain and quenched his parched palette.

When he stood again, Sasuke and Neji blocked his passage to the rest of the gymnasium. Sasuke was grinning with contentment, Neji was frowning. In actuality, Sasuke had forced him to go with him to speak with Kiba, which had drawn him from one of his fondest fantasies of Itachi-like clan genocide. Well, maybe not the Branch House…

"Well handled, Kiba. So you're aware, don't think that little…accident yesterday has gained Naruto the same access to the Washroom that you have. Even if he had measured up…"

Neji snickered. Sasuke shot him an angry look.

"Not like that, perv. Even if he had fit our standards for appearance, personality is also a factor. You're still welcome, whenever you want, and you won't have to worry about Naruto being there."

"Thanks, guys, but I really don't think I'll be going back. The bathroom's fine, and I like eating lunch with Shino and Hinata."

"Then invite them," Sasuke offered nonchalantly.

"Wai...what? I thought it was supposed to be exclusive."

"It is. Shino's already a member, and Hinata's the only mentally stable female genin in Konoha," Neji said, realizing a moment later that he had just complimented a member of the Main House. No matter, if Kiba did invite her it would only give him a place to attack when her guard was down.

"Shino's a member? How come he never said anything about it?"

Sasuke and Neji stared blankly at Kiba.

"Oh, right, ugly. Well, fine then, I'll invite Hinata. You sure you're okay with that, Neji?"

"Oh, yes…" Neji said, smiling now and his eyes glinting with malice. Sasuke and Kiba took small steps away from the Hyuuga, fearing one of his fantasies would push his way to the surface.

Sasuke turned back to Kiba and nodded comfortingly. "It's fine, Kiba, but that's all until we decide on the next member."

"Deal," Kiba said, walking sideways behind Sasuke to get to the gym without nearing the brooding Neji. He walked over to Hinata and Shino's spot, to which they had returned following the resolution of the blood feud between Sakura and Ino. He motioned for them to follow him into a nearby hallway, where he spoke to them in a hushed voice.

"Shino, Sasuke tells me you're a member."

"Of…?"

"That you don't use the public restrooms here."

Shino's eyebrows shot up in surprise. Well, the mild interest in the unexpected that was as close as the Aburame Clan ever got to surprise. "So, you know, then?"

"Yeah, and they said Hinata could come, too."

"Come where? I'm confused, what are you guys talking about?" Hinata sulked, thinking something was wrong and sporting a fearful look.

"Don't worry, Hinata. Shino and I have something to show you. C'mon."

"A…wh…what? What is this?" Hinata stammered, not entirely comfortable with the thought of a large, ominous room. It was early yet, and there were few people in the Washroom. Kiba had been introduced during the midday, just before lunch, when the social life was in full swing. Now, only a few bored jounin lazed about the central fountain and the many servants present seemed to be surplus to requirement. Shino instinctively handed his thick overcoat to the nearest butler and took a white cotton robe from the wall. Kiba did the same while Hinata took in the sight.

"This, dear Hinata, is the Washroom of the Beautiful. It's really just a bathroom, but the service is great and the make a mean beef stroganoff."

Hinata noticed that both of her teammates were now wearing comfortable-looking robes and that buters had taken their jackets. She looked a little worried for a moment, knowing full well that she should probably change also but couldn't do it in plain view, until Shino pointed to a room marked "Women's Changing Room" in delicate gold letters. She smiled and went in while Kiba and Shino looked over the Washroom, as if assessing its appropriateness for their precious little Hinata.

"I think she'll fit in fine," Kiba said with a knowing nod. Shino said nothing in reply, but obviously did not disagree.

Back outside, in the Gymnasium, Kurenai was becoming concerned. Her entire team had disappeared, and with Kiba in his unstable state that could mean trouble. She began asking around, though all, including Sasuke and Neji, denied knowing anything. It was at this time Kakashi finally showed up for morning practice, walking smoothly through the door reading his book with Jiraiya close behind, writing in what seemed to be an identical book. Kurenai approached the pair reluctantly, preferring to avoid their company whenever they're together, and grabbed Kakashi's book away from him.

"Good morning, Kurenai. Could I have that back?" Kakashi asked innocently.

"My team's gone, and I need you to help me find them."

Kakashi saw Sasuke at the far side of the gym gesturing toward the secret entrance to the Washroom. "Oh, don't worry. They're safe."

"You've seen them?"

"No, but I have a pretty good idea of where they are."

"Where?"

"I can't tell you."

"What? Why not?"

"Because you don't already know."

"But how am I supposed to know if you won't tell me?" Kurenai was letting more and more anger show in her voice, trying to invoke the fear of the woman's wrath that most men were clever enough to try and avoid.

"You're not."

"Why is my team someplace that I'm not supposed to know about?"

"I didn't send them there, how should I know?" Kakashi was enjoying this thoroughly. There wasn't much that he feared in this world, which left a lot of room for fun with the more powerful people in the village.

Kurenai shouted in frustration. She threw Kakashi's book through the still-open doorway and stormed off in search of her team. Kakashi shrugged, pulled out another copy of the same book from the folds of his vest, and went back to reading.

After an hour or so of lounging, Team Eight decided to return to the training area to keep Kurenai from getting upset at their disappearance. Hinata was finding the Washroom delightful and had already had a massage, a steam bath, and twenty minutes of quality "Hinata Time" in the hot tub with an ice-cold smoothie and her favorite teammate, Akamaru. Kiba and Shino, already used to the environment, stayed by the fountain and played a game of cards. Or, rather, they dictated a game of cards, sitting behind the players and telling them what to play.

When they finally returned to the training area, refreshed beyond belief, Kurenai was not there to greet them. She had gone home for the day, deciding that she was going insane to some tangible degree and therefore required a long night of watching her favorite sappy movies and eating obscene amounts of chocolate frosting to calm her nerves. Team Eight shrugged this off and went about their training, while the other genin clung to the excuse of mental scarring to earn a day off. The jounin didn't care all that much, they'd just work them like slaves the next week to teach them a lesson for milking vacation days.

Naruto just sat in his corner, his modesty made vain and his vanity shamed. None could look at him anymore. Anyone who did so saw only through their mind's eye, and Naruto was no longer fully clothed in their mind's eye. He just lifted his weights and grumbled something hateful about Sasuke.

Kiba, at the other end of the spectrum, was on top of the world. His teammates were able to get into the unbelievable Washroom along with him, he had found the ultimate phrase to get rid of Ino (and, therefore, the other two girls who only followed her lead for who-knows-why), and his revenge on Naruto was so exact and perfect that he was still reeling from the aftershocks the next day. Then, as if fate thought that he needed to somehow be happier, his favorite word was shouted from the back of the gym.

"BASKETBALL!"

Gai, the only jounin not 'taking a break' in the jounin lounge, was wearing a sweat suit and had a whistle tied around his neck. Although he looked ridiculous, Kiba was still overjoyed that basketball had been announced. Kiba was the best player in his class and they all knew it. Gai had already chosen Lee and Shikamaru as team captains, and the genin were enthusiastically lining up to be chosen for teams.

"Ah…this is so troublesome…" moaned Shikamaru, who had clearly been chosen for his chuunin status and not for his team spirit. He looked around at the line of genin, his eyes falling on Ino. Her look was not an angry one, but her powers of intimidation and vengeance had taken over to ensure the message was clear. If he didn't pick her first, he would regret it as long as she remembered it. And girls can remember things for a long, long time. "I pick Ino."

Kiba's expression dropped at first, having never been picked anything but first for basketball since their first game after beginning the academy. When he figured out Shikamaru's situation, though, he just laughed, knowing full well that the others were aware of his skill.

"I pick Kiba," Lee announced, not being in his class but not a fool. Well, maybe a fool, but no baka like Naruto. Kiba strutted up beside the upperclassman and smiled out at the other, less worthy genin. Take that.

The teams formed quickly. Shikamaru, recognizing talent, chose Tenten and Shino, thinking their skills at evasion and throwing were likely to be above average. Lee didn't do so bad either, ending up with Neji and Sasuke for sheer athletic talent. Naruto, obviously, sat out, as did Chouji, Sakura and Hinata. Naruto wasn't up for team games and the others simply hated basketball. It is a learned hatred, coming from years of defeat at the hands of the dreaded sport. The others didn't mind, though, since it gave them even teams and kept all the other, athletically challenged genin out of the game. They would know better next time they played, following the mission to rescue Sasuke, but for now they were ignorant as cows and wanted to play basketball.

"Okay!" Gai shouted, standing between the teams and giving both of them the nice-guy pose simultaneously, considered a physical impossibility until that very point in history and still baffling scientists today. "Shikamaru's team is Shirts, Lee's team is Skins."

"Oh, no," Kiba moaned, raising his hand to his forehead. He didn't even have to look, he could just feel the smiles forming on Ino and Tenten's faces.

"What's wrong?" Gai asked, oblivious to everything that had happened over the past few days.

"Can't they be skins?" Kiba asked densely.

"Of course not! They have girls!"

"Is it too late to quit?" Kiba asked, knowing it was but hoping for a miracle.

"Yes," Lee said, already shirtless. "We need even teams, and you're our best player."

"Fine," Kiba sighed, jogging to his starting position and throwing his jacket off to the side of the court.

A moment of silence followed while Ino, Sakura and Tenten regained their composure. Kiba, Sasuke, and Neji, all on the Skins team? Did they win the lottery?

A second later, Gai was standing in the middle of the court, basketball in hand, ready for the tip-off. Kiba watched as Lee approached the center to face off against Ino, but then got and idea. He stood up, as straight and broad as he could be, and approached Lee.

"Why don't you let me handle her?" he asked in the lowest, most sultry voice he could gather. All of the men knew exactly what he was doing, but Ino was frozen. Lee smiled and took back stage as Kiba took his place in the spotlight. He winked at Ino as Gai blew the whistle, then leapt and swatted the ball as hard as he could. Tenten caught it, threw it from three-fourths of the court away, and scored the first two points. Ino never moved in response to the play, she was trapped in her own Ino-world, with just her, a shirtless Kiba, and a basketball.

The game played out much like that, with Ino more or less useless around Sasuke, Kiba and Neji and Tenten only slightly more difficult to distract. With the utter lack of concentration on his team, even Shikamaru's brilliant strategic mind combined with Shino's undeniable genius could not turn the tide against the raw athletic talent of Lee's team.

The moment the game had ended, called short by Gai who decided that Shikamaru's team had gone through enough, Kiba darted over to his jacket and practically dove into it, his head emerging in the lion's-mane hood. He walked calmly back to his team's adopted spot, where Hinata was facing away from the basketball court to keep from blushing again. She didn't have a team to cheer for, anyhow, since each one had a teammate on it. Shino met Kiba there and, in authentic Shino style, said absolutely nothing. Kiba, able to think of a topic, said the first thing that came to his mind.

"Wanna go to the bathroom?"

"Yes!" Hinata chirped merrily, trotting off to the Washroom entrance, followed distantly by Shino.

Ino was strewn out on a bench, catatonic, for several minutes following the game. Sasuke, Neji, Kiba…it had been too much for her. Tenten, though in an unusually good mood, thought Ino foolish and blamed their loss on her. Sakura, who lamented sitting idly by during the game, still mused over her precious Sasuke.

Shikamaru was disgusted. How could they behave like that? He had dozens of perfectly acceptable strategies to counter the speed and strength of the opposing team, to rise above the failing odds, to truly show his worth without lifting a finger! Ino had stolen that from him, even after he had given her ego a shot of Botox. He sat back beside Chouji, listening to him munch happily away at a bag of barbecue chips. Chouji was equally disgusted, as was the undesired Lee and the sulking Naruto, but none said anything. This was truly Shikamaru's misfortune, and they didn't want to sound unsympathetic.

"What?" Ino finally muttered, returning to her senses and looking around as though lost. The last thing she could remember was being very happy to have a basketball, but now that she looked around she realized that she was no longer happy and no longer had a basketball. In a flash, the memory of a basketball game in the gym came back to her, with the vision of a face, a boy's face, smiling, winking…

"Kiba!"

"Yes, Kiba, we know." Tenten sighed, pretending to be annoyed at her friend's habits but unable to stop smiling and look the part. "You cost us the game, you lemming. You're fickle, you know that?"

"Where'd he go? And Sasuke?"

"I dunno. Boys disappear all the time, who knows where they go? Hey, wait a second, where's Neji?"

"Probably the same place as the other two."

"Well we have to find them, then! C'mon, there have to be clues around here somewhere…"

Tenten's sudden zeal for locating her teammate was futile. Neji, along with Sasuke and all of Team Eight, were safely tucked away in their Washroom.

Kiba was growing restless. He had lounged around for quite a while that day, and he was entering a lazy stupor that contradicted his typical nature. He felt the need to walk around, and didn't like the Treadmills that kept making such horrible swooshing sounds whenever he dropped his foot. He waved to the others inside the Washroom and stepped out, proceeding into the gymnasium. Maybe he'd run a few laps…

"KIBA!" Tenten grabbed Kiba by the collar and threw him against the wall before he could react. She held a kunai in her hand and pressed it against his throat. "Where have you been?! Where's Neji?!"

"B-b-bathroom," Kiba stuttered out, not at all lying. Tenten dropped him and started running off to the bathroom. She quickly realized what she did, ran back, and fixed Kiba's jacket for him and smiled sweetly.

"Sorry about that, Kiba-kun." She ran off after that, certain that somebody would be there to make Kiba feel better. Indeed, as soon as she left, Ino was there, smiling warmly and shifting her weight between her feet. Kiba sighed.

"What?" Kiba ran his hand through the hair on the back of hair. It was only then that he noticed that he had left his hood down. 'Damn,' he thought, 'I look meaner with my hood up.'

"You were really good during the game, Kiba-kun." Ino knew how corny this sounded, but she was convinced that these sort of empty compliments were what boys liked to hear. Kiba only felt as though she were wasting his time. Nonetheless, he wasn't in the mood to disagree with Ino. He was beginning to understand how Shikamaru and Chouji felt. Again.

"Thanks, Ino-chan." Kiba's eyes widened in a knowing fear that clutched at his heart, the fear of a coming doom somehow invoked, but he couldn't place the source of it. What did he just say? His hands flew over his mouth as he realized, and he turned to face Ino to see if she had heard him say "-chan".

She had. Damn it all…

Ino's eyes grew large as saucers in delight, her hands clutching one another and shooting beside her jaw, which had dropped open. She looked as though her favorite teddy bear had sprung to life and asked for a hug, which, in one sense or another, it had.

"INO! INO-SAN! INO-KUN! **INO-PIG**!!" It was to no avail. Ino was already in love with the sound of that name, "Ino-chan", and refused to let it leave her ears.

Kiba wasted no time, knowing that each passing second he spent in Ino's presence was only going to tighten his involuntary hold on her unstable emotions. He needed to go somewhere where he couldn't be reached, and he knew exactly where to go.

Ino had closed her eyes following her initial moment of adoration at hearing her name so spoken. She didn't want to look at Kiba just yet, there was something she had to say first.

"Kiba-kun, I'm flattered really, and you've been kinder to me than Sasuke-kun ever has. I want to tell you that, before we move any further, my heart is fragile, and harsh words or empty promises could easily be the downfall of me. Please, Kiba-kun, promise to treat me gently?" She opened her eyes to hear what this wonderful, adorable, muscle-bound boy had to say in response.

Kiba was long gone. As soon as Ino had closed her eyes, Kiba ran as though he had seen Death itself. He was no longer within sight, but had evacuated the gym and hidden himself in the Washroom of the Beautiful. He leaned against the door, panting and holding his chest. Gasping for air, Kiba looked around, and the sight that met his eyes was not a pleasant one.

Fifteen feet away, Neji was standing menacingly close to Hinata, who was flanked by Sasuke on her other side. He looked angry, ready to kill, even more so than usual.

"Stop it, Neji, she won't do it, I promise," Shino said dryly, apparently doing nothing at all.

"She already said she would, didn't you, Hinata-sama? You're just begging for trouble aren't you?!"

"I…I…I just…I just s-said, maybe…maybe we could…let N-N-Naruto-kun…just see? It wouldn't…hurt anybody…" Hinata was cowering in the overbearing presence of Neji's swelled medulla oblongata, fearing that his rage would manifest itself at any time and rip all who stood before him to shreds.

"YES! YES, IT WOULD, HINATA-SAMA!" Neji cried, losing whatever pretense of causality he might have clung to.

"Neji," Kiba said, ready to explode. "What do you think you're doing?"

"Be quiet, Kiba, this isn't of your concern."

"Get away from Hinata."

Neji turned to look at him. Just two days ago, Kiba was shrinking in his shadow. Now, he dared give orders? To Neji, of all people? To the genin that could completely and utterly site all those who dared to oppose him, that could tear the very fabric of space-time itself with the speed of his hand? "What did you just say, trash?"

Kiba stood tall and walked smoothly over to Neji. Neji was taller than he was, but Kiba showed no sign of fear. "I said, GET AWAY FROM HINATA!" Kiba shouted into the Hyuuga's face, grabbing him and throwing him onto one of the fountain benches.

Neji stood up immediately. This was unbelievable. This was unthinkable. This was unacceptable. He assumed battle stance and twitched his fingers, beckoning Kiba.

"Neji, don't," Sasuke said, as though he could care less.

"Oh? And why not, Sasuke? I can handle Kiba."

"Because," Shino interjected, "you have about two hundred of my destruction bugs on your legs and thighs, and if you try to use chakra they're gonna suck you drier than the Country of Wind."

Neji jumped out of battle stance immediately. He leapt about, to and fro, shaking his hands furiously, occasionally rubbing one of them against his legs. A surprisingly feminine voice saying desperately, "GET 'EM OFF! GET 'EM OFF!"

Only Shino kept his composure. After a second or two of Neji's flailing, everybody else broke out into hysterical laughter. Once they had all had a nice laugh, and Neji had sat down and was frantically trying to find the two hundred destruction bugs invading his "space bubble", Kiba grabbed Hinata by the wrist and dragged her out of the Washroom. Shino followed quickly, turning to speak to Sasuke and Neji.

"You'll both regret this." He turned back to the door and, before departing, he called back, "…and there weren't any bugs, Neji."

Neji calmed himself, and breathed deep, finding his happy place and killing everybody else trying to take refuge there. Especially Shino. And Hinata. And Kiba.

"Those damn elitists," Kiba muttered to himself, storming back into the gym with his teammates just as angry and right on his heels. "We gotta find a way to get back at them."

"Don't worry," Shino said, his eyebrows still conveying his anger to all who cared to look. "They gave us the perfect plan themselves." He turned his gaze to the back corner where Naruto sat, still sulking. Both of Shino's teammates, though shocked at his diabolically genius plan, smiled, but not just any kind of smile. These were smiles of secret knowledge, used by those knowing of the coming doom of their enemies. Evil, once again, had taken root in this simple twelve-year-old team.

"WOW! THIS IS GREAT!"

The dreaded sound echoed throughout the Washroom of the Beautiful, its harsh tones a sonic bombardment on the pampered inhabitants. Sasuke and Neji looked up from their massages in horror, seeing a blonde genin in an orange jumpsuit looking stupidly around the facility and grinning like a Cheshire cat. Sasuke let his head drop back onto the table, certain that his life was over. Again. Neji almost cried, but his thoughts were kind and showed him images of slaughtered Main House members to cheer him up. When he found out who had shown that baka the door, they would wish they were in the Main House of Neji's fondest nightmare visions. They would pay…

Back in the gym, it was almost time to call it quits, and Kiba had gone back to the Washroom to call Akamaru to go home. On his way to the exit, his faithful dog behind him, he was intercepted by Ino, whose eyes were red with the memory of tears.

"You're a horrible person, Inuzuka Kiba! Toying with my emotions like that isn't fair, you have to honest with me! LOOK AT ME, KIBA!" Kiba's eyes, which had wandered for a moment, shot back into Ino's. She started talking again, much to Kiba's dismay. "You have to let me know, right now, how you feel, or I swear…"

Ino was cut off. Kiba raised his hand gingerly to her face, cradling her jaw. Ino closed her eyes and smiled. This was the answer she had been waiting for. Kiba spoke to her in the kindest, most nurturing voice he had, barely able to hold back hysterics long enough to say what he had wanted to say for days.

"Ino…"

"Kiba-kun…"

" I was the one who took Naruto's clothes yesterday. I got my team out first, but I didn't warn you because I don't give a damn what happens to you. Go away and leave me alone."

Kiba had thought the shock and rage on Ino's face was priceless when he had called her Ino-pig. The look she had then, as he told her how he felt about her, was worth more than anything he could've named. Her jaw didn't drop, it more or less was forced open by the collecting hatred Ino was trying to funnel into actual words, though none could possibly convey how she felt enough to even be uttered. Her hands, trembling, rose to her temples, then lowered uselessly back to her sides. Finally, hyperventilating and red in the face, Ino turned back to the rest of the gym, where most of the genin were still waiting to be dismissed. Kiba knew what would come next so, still holding back his laughter, he activated Quadruped Form and flew like a bullet to the exit.

"KIBA DID IT! KIBA TOOK NARUTO'S CLOTHES!" Ino shrieked, pointing accusingly at the rapidly-fading dogboy barreling for the doors. Only by inches had Kiba escaped the building before a cloud of kunai and shuriken lodged themselves in the thick wooden doors. A herd of human feet chasing after him, Kiba laughed and ran into the night. Telling the truth had never felt that good.

---End Chapter Two---

In Japanese, the suffix one gives to another person's name is an indicator of one's relationship with that person. "San" is usually a safe suffix, and is given to men and women alike. "Kun" is usually used to refer to males, especially younger ones. "Sama" is used when addressing a person of much, much higher status than yours, a status that you will likely never reach.

The suffix used here, "chan", is generally reserved for those of very close relation or friendship, especially among young ladies. Because of its implied closeness, it is easy to offend a girl by adding this suffix to her name when one is not either a close friend or romantically involved (trust me on this). Boys that hope to associate themselves with a girl, such as Naruto when calls his love "Sakura-chan", often use this suffix. The reaction that Kiba receives is a result of this common usage, implying that he is much fonder of Ino that was originally believed.

Also, "-pig" is not a legitimate suffix, but a derogatory nickname for Ino. It is meant to be ironic, as "**ino**sisi" means "boar".

Note: The title of this chapter, "batrachophobia", means "fear of frogs".

Hello again. In all fairness, I have to give credit to my twin sister, The Beloved Laura, for helping with this, doing even more in this chapter than she did in the last. She's an Ino fan, as you can probably tell, whereas I am not, thus leading to the both prolific and unflattering portrayal of Ino in this chapter. I would appreciate reviews, and likely will not continue this series without them, so if you enjoyed this let me know so I can supply some more for you to read. Thank you for your time.

- Jack

HI GUYS! It's a lot of fun writing fanfics with Jack, he's so much better with words than I am but I'm a better artist so it's okay. He says I help him get insite into the feminin characters (INO WOOT!XD) but he really does most of the work(so he gets to put in a lot of Kiba, but that's okay cuz Kiba's sexxy). I love writing these, I love getting reviews, so if you review it Jack and I will write some more and you can get more stories and we can all be HAPPY! BYE!;-)

- Laura

Whether there's another chapter or not depends on you. Review, and you'll see:

Who let Naruto into the Washroom of the Beautiful?

What revenge do the genin plot for Kiba?

What is this new "other hideout" that the beautiful genin retreat to?

How will Ino deal with rejection from, not one, but two of her classmates?

All this, and much more, all in exchange for a review! STAY TUNED!


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